What Would Have Been.

What Would Have Been.

Justin at 17.

 

 "What would have been" is something we all ponder from time to time, and it can become a sad and depressing place if we allow ourselves to stay there. Not understanding why things happen can make it even more difficult to let go of "what would have been".  I know because I have been there and still go back every now and then. 

 

I went back to "what would have been" when I realized Justin would be graduating high school this year if it weren't for the disabilities.  I close my eyes and see him in his cap and gown on graduation day. My heart fills with pride as he walks over, gives me a big hug and says "I did it mom.  I did it."  I open my eyes and reality smacks me in the face.  That's not going to happen.  Not this year at least. 

 

As he continues to grow I see glimpses of "what would have been" for Justin. Right now his stubborn streak has grown from one to ten miles wide, but that's ok because he's developing his own identity and making more decisions for himself; something all teenagers do.  His development is slower than someone his age, but he's getting there.  Slowly but surely he's getting there. 

 

I have come to realize some of the "what would have been" for Justin will happen; just on his time and not mine. One day he will graduate high school. It will be with a certificate instead of a diploma but I will be just as proud because he will be done the best he can and that's all I ask.  So when his graduation day arrives, and he wraps his arms around my neck to say "I did it."   I will hug him back with tears in my eyes and tell him "Yes you did.  You did it."   I know I can't change the past nor control the future, but sometimes if we adjust our plans then some of the "what would have been" will in fact become a reality. 

Thanks for reading,
Angela :)