Wednesday, September 25, 2013

When Should Bullying Be Ignored?

When Should Bullying Be Ignored?

A great deal of attention has been brought to the subject of bullying.  Bullying isn't limited to able-bodied people with huge egos wanting to belittle those they feel are beneath them, but people with special needs can be bullies as well.  I didn't realize just how much of an issue this was until Justin became the target of a bully; a bully who was also special needs.  Many who bully use the excuse they do what is being done to them, but I don't totally buy into this.  If someone were in someway mistreated, don't they in turn make sure they don't mistreat others because they know how it feels? 

I also have to ask myself where are the parents of the bullies and do they care what their children are doing?  Sadly to say, many parents of bullies don't care as long as their children are out of their hair.  Their lack of disciplining their children and showing them the love and respect they so crave comes out in their children's everyday actions and many times these actions are against their peers.  Then when parents are confronted with the inappropriate behavior, they either lose their temper with the one confronting them or ignore the situation all together.  How can anything get accomplished when we keep running into a brick wall?

I try to rear my children to be respectful of those around them and to treat others the way they would want to be treated.  Sometimes this means we have to stand up to what others want to sweep under the rug, because ignoring the situation achieves nothing and in some cases makes the situation worse.  It also sends a message to our children who are being bullied that they are not important and I want them to know they are just as important as everyone else. 

Trying to change the world for the better, one bully at a time.
Angela :)

Monday, September 9, 2013

Wrongfully Judging Others

Wrongfully Judging Others
You judging me?!?
Justin in 2008
Luke 6:41-42 (KJV) states "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?  Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye."  These verses speak to me on so many different levels, but what sticks out the most is something that is running rampant in today's society;  pointing out someone else's faults without seeing the bigger faults in your own life.
Some are so judgmental and quick to point out the "faults" with our special needs children while being totally oblivious to the bigger "faults" of their own children.  They find our children's "odd" behavior off putting and many times criticize us for "not disciplining" the child correctly.  I would like to ask those who think they have the answer to straightening out our children if they have really opened their eyes and taken a closer look at what their children are doing.  Many times our children make "horrible noises" because they are non-verbal and have no other way to get our attention when something is wrong.  They are not deliberately trying to cause a scene and we as their parents don't always know when they are going to have a "meltdown."  Instead of passing judgement and calling our children names, I would encourage you to look at your perfectly healthy child snickering and making fun of my mine.  Why do you not judge them for their behavior or do you see nothing wrong with it? 
How would you want people to treat your child if the shoe was on the other foot?  How would you want people to treat you?  Before you pass judgement on a special needs parent or their child, try to understand their may be more to the situation than meets the eye and then set a good example for your children.  Teach them compassion.  Teach them to accept.  Teach them to love.  Teach them to treat my child the way they would want to be treated if this had happened to them.
Going to try and teach my children the value of spending the evening together.  Thanks for reading.
Angela  :)